We are in San Diego staying right up the street from my uncle’s condo - the place where my parents stayed (and where I recovered) during the summer of 1992. Again, this is another place I think of as “home.”

I spent my childhood summers here - swimming in the ocean, jumping the waves and spending hours on the beach playing with my cousins. This is much of what I have watched my own children do, as my siblings are here with their children.

It’s strange to be in San Diego and to think about my weeks in the hospital at UCSD. It was such a hard time physically, in addition to the emotional turmoil that followed. I spent the worst days and weeks of my life here. And yet, I love it. I haven’t figured out how that works. Obviously it is beautiful and the weather is fantastic; but how did I get over the hardships I faced? I am not quite sure.

This weekend I am having dinner with Dr. Garfin and his wife. Usually his daughter, who is my age, joins us -but she is out of town and I will miss seeing her. Perhaps I will have more insight into my emotional healing once we connect.

This evening I gave a talk at White Mountain Country Club in Arizona (yes, there are mountains in Arizona - and they are a cool and beautiful break from the hot Phoenix sun). Once again I was reminded why I do what I do. I am on vacation, and no one likes to “work” on vacation. But my “job” is not really working. It is an honor and a privilege to not only invite others into the deep corners of my life, but to share with them afterwards their own private stories.

Tonight’s talk was a little different, because I did not have access to my PowerPoint presentation or notes - so I just spoke from the heart, without pictures or bullet points. I did, however, share with the group a few videos (newscasts from 1992/3) that chronicled my injury and recovery. While my two boys have seen photographs, this was the first time they had seen the videos, and I was unprepared for the impact it would have on them.

I have one child who is very sensitive and one who is a free spirit. The sensitive child asked me before bed tonight, “Mom, why did you tell them to just do it? Didn’t it hurt a lot?” He was referring to my reaction when the surgeon in South Bend told me that I needed to have surgery if I wanted any chance to walk again. These were heavy questions for an 8-year-old right before bedtime, but I always try to be honest with my children.

It also reminded me that, as parents, our impact on our children is vast. They listen to more than what we say to them; they hear our actions and digest our behaviors. My children learned more about their mom tonight then perhaps they wanted to know, but I hope they also learned and witnessed some of the valuable intangibles that we can not tell them with words: the importance of sharing our gifts with others, the importance of outreach and the importance of touching someone’s life.

I love living in Annapolis. I love the life that we have built; I love our friends and our children’s school; I love the laid-back, family friendly life-style; I love our involvement with the Naval Academy; I love being near the Chesapeake Bay and all that has to offer; and I love watching my children grow-up in an environment unlike my childhood. My family is happy; and that really is what drives all we do.

But that does not take anything away from where I grew up and my own experiences as a child. My family and I landed in Phoenix on Friday and it was 118-degrees outside. Yes, summertime in Phoenix - the summers of my youth. For the past two days I have watched my children swim and slide down the slide into the pool I swam in as a child. They have collapsed inside from heat and exhaustion, only to recharge and head back outside. They have played in the front yard with their cousins, unaware of the heat - yet stopping to ask for water. I have watched all of this fun with fond memories of my own childhood and with silent comfort and enjoyment that they love what I loved as a child.

My children’s life is much different than mine as a child, but I am thankful that they get to embrace, experience and enjoy both. Yes, there is no place like home. Lucky for me, I have many places I can call home. And I enjoy them all.

This afternoon I hosted a retreat and planning meeting at my house for a new group (well, two years young) that was founded to support Notre Dame alumnae in the DC area. Just at the Letterwinners club boasts a motto of Athletes helping Athletes, ND Women Connect could run the motto: Women helping Women.

We all need help. We all need support. No one person can live to their potential without the support, care and love of family, friends, coworkers and even strangers. Even for an independent person like myself (and I maintain that I am fiercely independent), I know I could not do the things I do on my own. This is both humbling and empowering. Humbling because I am not all-knowing and all-powerful; and empowering because I do not have to pretend to be all-knowing and all-powerful.

Women often do each other disservice by trying to appear to “have it all together.” I certainly am guilty of this at times. I would love for everyone to think that I can manage all I do with ease. This is far from the truth; and to acknowledge this, I believe, gives other women hope that they too can live to their potential. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Acknowledging my weaknesses is one of the strengths on which I am working.

Last night my younger son was climbing the bleachers at his brother’s baseball game. He was entertaining himself and being a silly six-year-old when he fell. The rusty metal bleachers took a chunk of skin off his shin. As soon as I saw it I knew we’d be heading to the ER. I tried to stop the bleeding and I tried to believe that he didn’t need stitches, but a mother knows better - even when she doesn’t want to be right.

Two hours later I was sitting on the exam table holding my son as the doctor injected the anesthesia into his wound. It was horrible. He was screaming and I was holding him tight - and all I could think of was my own mom.

Edward had seven stitches; his leg was cut and it will heal perfectly with no long term effects or lasting complications. My mom watched me endure much more, for much longer with much less certainty. I was sick to my stomach looking at Edward’s leg; how did my mom possibly endure looking at my bruised and bleeding back as my rods broke through? I know he will be okay and was able to promise him so. How did my mom assure and comfort me when she couldn’t promise anything?

I have no idea what my parents went through when I was in the hospital and afterwards. Comforting my son last night confirmed this - I can not imagine. And I don’t know how she did it.

This weekend I attended my first National Letter Winners Association Conference. It included over 30 Universities’ Letterwinners’ clubs, just like the Notre Dame Monogram Club on who’s board I serve. How fascinating to spend three days with like-minded individuals and former athletes who are seeking to serve their membership, just as we do at Notre Dame. It was an honor to listen to ideas of networking and mentoring and outreach, and the ideals to which we all strive.

It also wasn’t long before my story emerged. I am not sure how it first surfaced, but it then spread quickly amongst the group. To this group in particular, mine is an interesting story. Just as I often speak of the community of goodness that surrounded me during my time of need; these Letter Winner groups can serve as that goodness to others. It is precisely why we attend a conference such as NLWA.

But equally as important were the relationships established and maintained. Many of those in attendance knew each other well and have attended this conference for years. I was a newbie- but I will attend again, for certain. Before the end of the weekend I had new friends on Facebook and hopefully have added to the circle and network of Athletes Helping Athletes.

Over the past few weeks, under varying circumstances, I ran into three former teachers of mine from middle school and high school. As a former teacher myself, who recently completed a Masters in Teaching degree, I am keenly aware of the impact a teacher can have on his/her students. These three particular teachers made an impact of the best kind.
My former senior year high school English teacher gave me the confidence to write. I must have told her I was not a very good writer- because I will never forget when she handed me back my first essay (our personal statements as we prepared to fill out college applications) and she said, “I don’t know why you don’t think you can write.” She believed in me and after that, I believed in myself. A statement so simple, and yet so powerful.
That is the legacy anyone can leave, both positive and negative, with just one statement. We teach and learn each day through our (and others’) actions and words. As you move through your day, think about your actions and words, and their legacy. Will it be positive or negative, powerful and simple, and might it change someone’s life?

June13th was my grandfather’s birthday. Pop-pop, Poppy, Van, Grampa, Gramps - whatever you called him, he was loved by many and would have turned 105 this past Sunday. As it was, this June 13 marked the five year anniversary of the day we buried him; he died one week before his 100th birthday, and we celebrated.

June 13, 2010, was a day full of emotions for me. Being my grandfather’s birthday, I was reminded of him, of the love of grandparents, and of a life well lived. June 13th also marked the end of a three-day trip with our children and our dear friends. We celebrated the end of school with a weekend of friendship, family and fun.
As I unpacked from our trip and prepared for a book talk that night, I received the news that a father at my sons’ school had passed away. Once again I was hit by the emotions of the day; devastated and shocked by a young and untimely death.

In all my talks, I share that tragedy will happen to everyone at some point in our lives - and that we can choose to become a more bitter or fearful person, or we can choose to surround ourselves with the goodness that reaches out to us during our darkest time. We may not see or recognize the goodness at the time, nor may we be receptive to or welcoming of it. But it will be there - and it can carry us through whatever we face.
There are no words to comfort a grieving wife or her two young daughters. There is only prayer and hope and faith that time will begin to heal deep wounds. These wounds never fully go away, but they do heal and can leave us stronger, and leave us with the strength to be the goodness for someone else.

Family, Faith and Friendship. My weekend held all three - and I continue to pray for others who hopefully will take small comfort in feeling the uplifting power of prayer.

Last week was Commissioning Week here in Annapolis; meaning just over 1000 Midshipmen graduated from the Naval Academy and were commissioned as officers (you can’t graduate without being commissioned).

As a sponsor family for the Naval Academy, one of “our” Mids graduated this year. “Mr. Sam” as he is known in our house, has become a part of our family. For the past four years, Mr. Sam has spent weekends with us, shared meals with us, slept a lot, shared his family and friends with us. He has played numerous games with my boys: Wii, lacrosse, basketball, cards, etc…and has patiently been entertained by repeated magic tricks.

Although we are officially his sponsor “parents,” Sam is like a younger brother to Jamie and me. We adore him and I can only hope my boys will grow up to be as polite, honorable and genuine as Mr. Sam. We will miss him and are so proud of him!

The Naval Academy produces some of the finest young graduates in the country - probably in the world. These graduates have chosen to dedicate their lives to serving our country. We are very proud to be associated with such a fine institution. And as I mention elsewhere on the website - it is nice to continue to cheer for the Blue & Gold.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

The College Swim Coaches Association of America hosted their annual convention in Baltimore and invited me to be their keynote speaker to kick off the three day convention. It was an opportunity for me to share the inspiration with those who understand the meaning of what it means to touch a life as a coach.

In all my talks, I discuss the attributes I learned from each of my coaches - all different, each with a vital role in developing who I was as an athlete and who I am as a person. This particular talk was meaningful because one of my coaches was present - and he had the opportunity to hear in the context of my story the role he has played in my journey. I was so glad he was there to hear it (he actually has heard it before - four times, but he’s so humble it will take another four times before believes it). And I started to wonder about my other coaches and how they too might enjoy hearing the important role they played.

Once again, I am reminded that so much in life is about gratitude. Living life with a grateful heart and appreciating all we have, who we have and making sure they know how thankful we are for the gifts they have shared.