I spent the past few days in Virginia as a guest of the Notre Dame Club of Charlottesville. It was an amazing trip and experience, and the members of the Club could not have been kinder or more welcoming. When I was first invited to speak, I don’t think they had any idea how excited and honored I was to return to Charlottesville.

I am always honored to be asked to speak anywhere; and certainly a Notre Dame Club is an engaging audience. But Charlottesville specifically is a meaningful place for me.

One of the saddest and overlooked effects of a tragedy is how it affects an entire family. There were 37 people involved in our bus accident - and these 37 families’ lives were altered and devastated to varying degrees. Certainly in my story, and in my book, I talk a lot about my relationship with my mom. We struggled at times, and it is one of the storylines that gets the most comments when I meet with readers. The mother-daughter dynamic is one to which most mothers-daughters can relate.

But the relationship with my sister was equally as altered. She was in 8th grade when my accident happened, and she lost her parents. My mom flew back to South Bend to be with me, and did not leave for several months. My father flew back and forth, but even when he was physically with my sister, his mind was elsewhere. My sister had to fend for herself during the very difficult teenage years.

And even though she knew it wasn’t my fault, she blamed me. She was angry at me - and then felt guilty about her anger. I can’t speak too much for her and her emotions - but I know we struggled as sisters for years.

Until she went to college and played volleyball at the University of Virginia - in Charlottesville. For four years, she was the Cavaliers’ starting setter. I loved watching her play; I loved visiting her and being “Mary Frances’s sister” - instead of the other way around. One summer I spent several weeks living with her in Charlottesville as she took summer school and I studied at a Jefferson seminar on campus. Those visits and that summer allowed Mary Frances and me to reconnect as sisters. I saw her as my equal, as an athlete, as a strong woman - and most importantly as a friend.

Perhaps the geography doesn’t matter, but to me Charlottesville is a place of healing. Last night after my speech someone came up to me and said, “Hey, your sister still holds the school record for assists at UVa!” Yes, she does. And this sister couldn’t be more proud.