If you have read my book or are familiar with my story, you might not think that I need a reality check - or reminder - about what is most important in life. But sometimes I do.

I recently connected with a teammate and classmate from Notre Dame. We were both freshman swimmers when we were involved in the bus accident. We have drifted in and out of each others’ lives over the years, but as with most of my teammates, I tried to keep in touch - or at least keep up with - her life.

And life has dealt her additional challenges. It was inspiring this past weekend to see a woman who lives her life as I try to. A woman who chose a spouse who would be a partner, a best friend, and someone who would be there for her down life’s crazy journey. Not all of us are so fortunate. I know - as she knows - that our family unit will ground us, sustain us, and remain secure during a time of crisis.

My teammate has three children. Her oldest is my youngest son’s age, and they had a blast playing together. Her youngest was born this past December, and I treasured holding a new life.

Her middle child is amazing. She was born with severe physical disabilities. For fear of describing this precious child in incorrect terms, and for privacy, I won’t share more than this: this child is a gift - and a teacher. I know she has taught her parents a deeper love than they knew before, deeper challenges than they had faced in the past, and deeper emotions than perhaps they knew possible. And through this child, I have learned what a truly remarkable person my teammate is.

We talked a lot about our lives since the accident, our lives as wives and mothers, and of course a lot about our children. We also talked about our faith and my teammate said something that struck me:

“People casually use the word tragedy so often with a defeating tone. You’ve lived through tragedy; we’ve lived through tragedy. Don’t people understand that with tragedy comes so much goodness?! Sometimes I think God takes us as far as He can, to see if we still trust Him. And when we do, He takes care of us.”

I was amazed to hear her words. We are more alike than I had realized. What she said is what I say so often at my talks: With tragedy you can choose to become more bitter and fearful, or you can surround yourself by the goodness you find. Despite the tragedy she faced as a teenager in our bus accident and despite the challenges she lives with as a mother of a special needs child, my friend chose the latter.

Family, Faith and Friendship - did it take tragedy at a young age for us to realize their importance? Perhaps. But it also took our visit to remind me to live life as she does: embracing the goodness, and embracing our children for who they are, including their challenges.