Haley Scott DeMaria

Archive for June, 2013

40 to 40 #36


Oh how I love candy! Specifically candy corn; but tootsie rolls and jelly bellys will suffice when available. I have such a sweet tooth!

But what my family finds even funnier than my sugar addiction, is the fact that I HIDE candy all over the house. I am not sure if this is because I don’t want anyone else to eat it, or if I don’t want anyone else to know I am eating it. Even the midshipmen we sponsor have been known to hide candy in my desk. Nothing better than looking for a stamp or a pen, and finding an unexpected supply of candy corn.

Birthday cake? Extra frosting. Wedding cake? I eat the frosting; my husband eats the cake (and I try not to eat the icing off others’ plates at the table…) Frosting, when made properly, is like candy smeared on a cake.

I’m not sure what else there is to say about candy. But once a bag is open, it is gone; once I start, I can not stop.  It will rot your teeth, but thankfully I am a fanatical brush-er (and floss-er!)

Have a sugary-sweet day!

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  • 40 to 40 #37


    This weekend I am at a baseball tournament watching my oldest son play. This is the second time we have traveled for a tournament, staying at a hotel, eating meals with his teammates and their families. This is the fun part of sports.

    Baseball has been a journey in our house, one too long to explain here. But it represents so many things in my life.

    My dad loves baseball. He played in college and coached my teams when I was younger (first baseball, then softball). One of the greatest lessons I learned from my dad was taught on the baseball field: it’s okay to strike out, but strike out swinging. Which in life translates to: it’s okay to fail; but fail trying, not just watching.
    This helped me learn to take risks, because I knew it was okay to make mistakes. It was okay to fail. But I had to at least try.

    Growing up there was no professional baseball team in Arizona. But when the Diamondbacks moved in, I shared this too with my dad. We bought in as season ticket holders. And in 2001 World Series, when the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees (oh, how my dad hates the Yankees!) he called me from game 7. I couldn’t hear anything but cheering, but I knew how happy he was. I’ll never forget that phone call, and I didn’t even talk to him.
    Years later, we would attend MLB games at Camden Yard, in our adopted state of Maryland. We wear orange and cheer for the Orioles. We even celebrated both of my sons’ First Communions by taking their friends to an Orioles game (I know…not your traditional First Communion party). And yes, my dad was there too.

    Both of my boys now play baseball, and we’ve created some of our own memories. Like the tournament three years ago on July 4th, when we lost every game by the mercy rule, when it was 100 degrees outside and no shade. We weren’t laughing at the time, but we laugh about it now. (I guess kind of like those swim meets in August in Yuma, AZ…not sure my brother laughs about those yet.)
    Or the season my oldest son finally opened up to me about my behavior on the sidelines. He kept giving me a “look,” and I just kept on cheering for him. Mom, you can cheer, just don’t say my name! Ahh – got it. So no longer will you hear me yell, Let’s go James Cody! It’s now, “Woo Hoo! Nice snag, catcher!”
    Every other parent cheers for him using his name, but for some reason his own parents must be embarrassing. 

    Baseball. I love it and all it represents. I have spent hours watching practices and games, spending time talking with friends and learning how to parent along the way.

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  • 40 to 40 #38


    Okay, this is an easy one – and an obvious one, so I’ll get it out of the way early. But really, walking goes so far beyond just being able to walk. I love to walk, for so many reasons! One, because I can – and that wasn’t always a given. But walking has given me so many gifts.

    I have spent hours walking with friends. We have talked, we have shared dreams, sometimes we have cried. I love this. I love spending time with friends, new and old, my age, younger (and not younger). Each of these women have contributed to my life in small and large ways. Each has listened to my stories, and each have shared their own. We’ve walked for exercise, we’ve walked for fun, we’ve solved the world’s problems and our parenting issues, and we’ve walked to raise money.

    I have spent days walking (60 miles one weekend) with my mom, my sister, my best childhood friend and friends from my adult life. We met other walkers and shared stories, laughed, learned and carried on in the rain.
    I also love to walk by myself, or with my dog, to collect my thoughts and notice what’s around me when I’m not engaged in conversation. Whether it’s a tree that has fallen down in Quiet Waters Park, or the sun rising over the canal in Phoenix (because you have to walk very early in AZ before you melt!) or a new house being built and watching it slowly go up. There is much to absorb on a walk by oneself. I love this too.

    I could walk and walk and walk (ask my kids). I love it. I love that I can do it, I love the friendships made along the paths, and I love the quiet solitude by myself. Walk on!

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  • 40 to 40 #39


    Like them or not, your siblings are family you can’t choose. You’re stuck with them. Or in the case of my family, they are stuck with me.

    My husband is an only child, so early in our marriage he never really “got” the whole sibling thing. You can’t compare them to your parents, because the relationship is so different. But he learned, and he now enjoys having a younger sister to tease and brothers-in-law who understand what it’s like to be married to a Scott girl.

    My siblings are two of the very few people who have known me my entire life: who I was as a child (stubborn), who I was as a teenager (awkward, selfish and independent) and who I have become as an adult. And they don’t see me through the rose colored glasses my parents sometimes (okay, maybe always) wear (LOVE YOU Mom & Dad!) My siblings have had to – as I have – adjust their relationship with me as we travel through the decades, because I have changed and they have changed. And when someone changes, your relationship changes. But because we are siblings, we have to figure it out – because we are stuck with each other.

    But it is a unique relationship to have and to be a sibling. Some families are closer than others. I have certainly grown closer to my siblings as we age (we are each five years apart, so there is a big gap). But when it comes down to it, our siblings know us and the scope of our lives and life experiences, better than anyone.

    This is what I want for my boys. They are brothers, siblings. And long after my husband and I are gone, they will still have each other. That’s been my goal from the moment I found out I was pregnant with son #2. I wanted my children, as siblings, to be close – because I can’t imagine my life without my brother or my sister.

    But they are brothers, and they are so different, and they are so what siblings should be: love, embarrassment, fun and challenging. I am often telling them that, at some point, they will be best friends. My younger son (Edward) looks forward to this; my older son (James) looks at me as if to say, “I’m not so sure about that.”

    So you can imagine my pure delight when James asked me if I miss Edward (he’s away at camp this week). Of course I do. I miss you both whenever you aren’t home. Then I looked at him and asked, Do you miss Edward?

    Yes, a little bit.

    YES! Made my week! That comment alone was worth sending Edward away to camp. I love my siblings – and the siblings I am raising.

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  • 40 to 40 #40

    Social Media

    I love social media! (And, by the way, I think these posts may change from 40 things for which I am thankful to 40 things I love about my life…which of course I am thankful for as well. We’ll see…again, I have no list and no plan…just wingin’ it!)

    Social media allows me to blog. I have learned that enjoy writing, even if no one reads it.

    Social media has also allowed me to keep up with friends from my childhood, high school, college, my former students – pretty much everyone I have ever met and some folks I have never met. How great is that? I’ve learned about TV shows I need to watch and books I need to read, all because someone posted or commented or “liked” it.

    I have connected with people I used to swim against; they aren’t much a part of my life now (at all), but they were a big part of my life (and motivation to train) when I was younger, and therefore a part of who I became. It’s neat to catch up on what they are doing.

    I can stay connected to my family members: parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, etc… and they can keep up with my husband and me (hard to do, unless you’re on Facebook) and our boys who they don’t see enough and are growing up too fast.

    I finally ventured into the world of Twitter, which will be obsolete by the time I fully figure out how to use it. But without Twitter, how would I know that Kim and Kanye named their daughter North? You might say, “Who cares?” But when half of the radio stations are joking about it, I am glad I read the 140 character tweet and can understand the jokes (and not look “old” to my kids). I can follow sporting events in real time on Twitter, when I can’t watch on TV. Just this morning I learned that the Supreme Court struck down DOMA (okay, I had to look up what that was, but I knew right when it happened!) Twitter is used in different ways by different people, and I clearly don’t use it as often as some. But it’s fun when I do.

    Social media has its challenges and a downside. You have to be careful,  you have to be smart about what you post. But it is also a wonderful tool to connect, communicate and share with others all that we love in life!

  • Filed under: Blog
  • 40 to 40

    In forty days, I turn 40 years old. Let me just start off by saying that this does not bother me. I love my birthday (always have and I think I always will) and I find this year is no different. Except it’s forty. 4-Oh. I remember my mom turning forty. It’s a big deal, and it’s not.
    I have an August birthday, so I was always “young” for my grade. All my friends drove before I did; all my friends turned 21 before I did; and most of my friends are already 40. Which is great, because they make forty look really good!
    As the date approaches, many have commented, “ohhh, you’re turning 40!” And my response is always, “Hey, if this is life at 40, I’ll take it!”
    I know there are some teenagers, 20-year-olds and 30-somethings who might read this post and not “get it,” and that’s okay. But life is good. I am blessed. I am happy, healthy, wiser from my past and young enough to dream for the future.
    As I countdown to forty (because I countdown to my birthday every year…yes, I love it that much) I will blog each day about 40 things in my life for which I am grateful. I don’t have a list; I will write what I am inspired to share each day.
    Here we go! T-minus 40 days…

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    There are many kinds of anniversaries, and all are celebrated differently. I tend to believe that anniversaries are personal and individual. While I of course celebrate my wedding anniversary with my husband, most others I tend to keep to myself. I celebrate, remember or honor the milestone in my life without the expectation that others should join in the recognition.

    Is this selfish? I don’t think so. I tend to think of it as being respectful of other’s feelings (or lack of feelings) about the event. Just as I choose to honor an anniversary in a particular way, I like to think I allow others to do the same.

    For example, yesterday, June 9th, was the anniversary of the surgery where Dr. Garfin straightened my spine. A rather amazing day in my life, when you think about it. It was the day when Dr. Garfin gave me the gift of a pain-free and active life. Dang right I’ll celebrate that!

    But I celebrated it by myself, in my own way: thanking Dr. Garfin, saying prayers of thanksgiving, playing with my children and smiling to myself because I can run with them. While my health and happiness affects others in my family, there is no need to make them take part in remembering a day that is important in my life (if you are going to do that, then remember my birthday! LOL) I am happy for the silent remembrance in my heart.

    Yesterday my husband took his last exam to finish his MBA. THAT is something to celebrate! My boys and I decorated the house, had a special dinner, and honored the milestone as a family. Why would I take a second away from his celebration to focus on myself?

    Anniversaries are moments we honor, remember and celebrate, depending on the occasion. Just remember, they are different for everyone.

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